Merry Christmas

I just wanted to take a little bit of time to say Merry Christmas to you all!
Wherever or whenever you're celebrating, I'm wishing you all the best today and tomorrow.
I'm having my family over today and tomorrow to celebrate as a big, giant group!
Things are going to be really busy.
So, God bless you all and have an very merry Christmas.

Love always,

xoxo

"It gets better"

I was going to make a YouTube video about this, but I don't want to make any until AFTER my surgery.
That's right, kids, I said SURGERY. I'm having a cosmetic procedure in the New Year to remove an ever-growing cyst on my mouth. So, once that's done and all healed up, I'll be posting videos on YouTube once again! Yaayyy.

Anyways,
I wanted to join this whole "It gets better" movement and contribute any way I could. So, given the circumstances, I decided to blog my personal views and opinions.
I would just like to forewarn anyone who is easily offended to please stop reading. I may piss people off, I might have opposing views on homosexuality and I often cause a huge fuss when I speak my mind. So if you're going to try to force your "correct" opinions on me, please leave now. Thanks.

Ok, so I just want to start by saying that, with ANYTHING in life, we all struggle at some point. It DOES get better, but it doesn't just happen. You have to make your life everything you want it to be before anything gets better. And those who actually believe life is easy are idiots. Run away from them.

What struck me the most is the climbing number of suicides, SUICIDES, in schools across America. Now, being in Canada, clearly I don't have the same hardships as a lot of American youth, but I can only imagine how hard it would be, personally, to go to a school with children raised by ignorant, racist red necks. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of intelligent, open red necks.

I never once blamed the homophobic youth. They're fully entitled to their feelings and beliefs and, being in a country whose constitution states "Freedom of Speech", are perfectly entitled to speak what they feel. The hardest thing for most people to do is to brush it off. We all have opinions, view, beliefs, etc. But for some reason when it comes to things like Religion, Sexuality, Ethnicity, etc. There are "wrong" opinions and "right" ones. Why is that? Instead of arguing and telling others they are WRONG about something, why not educate them to a differing view. You both might learn something. And you both leave as better versions of yourself. Right?

To all the kids who are different in ANY WAY than others. Guess what? In being different, you're perfect. Do you really want to be like them? I know what it's like to wish i was the same just to avoid the grief I receive from people about how I dress, act, talk, etc. But in the long run, I'm me, and I don't fucking want to change.

Now, I've never been one to support Gay Rights Activism. People try to push me into doing it, but to be honest, I'm not just gay. I'm a human being trying to make my way in the world, I want to get married one day, I want to have a good job, go to school, buy a house. I have dreams and aspirations just like everyone else. I refuse to be put on a pedestal or treated any differently than anyone else because I am gay. Being gay doesn't affect anyone else at all. My love life has nothing to do with my friends, family, acquaintances, or anyone else. My being gay doesn't mean I have anything in common with other gay guys, nor does it mean I'm interested in ALL men. What I want, and what I HAVE is to live my life the best I possibly can, with everything considered, every single day.

I wish this same thing upon all the gay youth, and troubled adults even. Live your life first. Don't put anything in front of your own personal happiness. Not even your sexuality. Because it doesn't matter who you love, who you celebrate, or where you're from, we're all humans and we all want the same thing: unconditional, well-rounded happiness.

This may not help a lot of people, but like I said, life is only as good as you make it. So if you embrace who you are as a person - not as a label - and take everything you can out of life every single day, you will be much happier and no negative comments will bring you down. And never feel like because you're gay you have to be a flamer, or because you're Asian you have to drive badly, or because you're Christian you have to go to Bible Camp. There are different ways to be who you want to be. Take advantage of the choices you have. If you don't like a certain stereotype, challenge it and break it apart.

I am not a "Proud" gay. I am proud to know enough about myself at 19 that I can be okay with it, and not care what anyone else has to say because it's none of their business.

I hope this helps someone out there.

Love always,

xoxo

P.S.

just to clear the water on my own views,
I'm pro-choice concerning abortion, I joke about racism and sexism all the time. I use words like "Faggot" and "That's gay" and "What a DYKE". I don't use them to offend, but make people laugh. Like I do.
I'm pro-laughter. I'm not politically correct. And I love most people that come into my life.
As for the marriage thing. There are plenty of states and countries that welcome Gay Marriage. If you want to get married, Move. :)

Barbara.

Ok, since I moved to this new place with my sister and stuff, there has been this adorable cat coming to our door on a nightly basis!
The first time I saw her, I thought she was so cute. She was standing at my back door meowing like crazy! I opened the door a crack to pet her and she had THE tiniest meow I've ever heard. So I gave her some of my cat's treats and pet her.
A few days later, she came back! So weird at this point. I was going outside and she was at my front door meowing again in her high-pitched, almost screaming way. I fell in love with her and told my sister I wanted to name her Barbara.
I don't know where the name Barbara cam from exactly, but it stuck with us and she started to answer to it.
I'm a little worried about her at times, but every night, she's outside in my front yard waiting for treats and a scratch behind the ears :)
And She will forever be named Barbara.
I want to keep her.

Christmas Time?

I’m listening to Christmas music like I have been constantly for about a month now. We moved into the new townhouse, and I FINALLY got my bedroom set and laptop I order weeks ago.

I have a question for you guys: when is it considered time to start taking out Christmas decorations and hearing the carols and such?
Personally, I find that retail is borderline ridiculous. You have to keep in mind that Christmas time is the biggest time of the fiscal year. So they’re not “too early”, they’re right on time.




But when should we start? When should the boxes come out of the basement and the tree go up? I mean, if you’re someone who gets a real tree, it obviously shouldn’t be going up in November. But some even think that the beginning of December is too early.

Me, I like to slowly move into Christmas. It is a really big time of year. There’s always so much going on. Starbucks is right on the ball. When they get their Holiday drinks and Christmas cups, that’s when I start feeling the season. Then the first snowfall is when I take out all my Christmas music. And if my house isn’t fully decked by December 1, there’s something wrong.

I absolutely love this time of year. I love all the tradition, the feeling you get when you’re in the mall, the smells, the colours, the lights, etc. I thrive in this time of year. In my opinion, everyone should have 2 weeks off for Christmas. Although that’s simply not possible, it would give people a good opportunity to take it all in.

Whenever you decide to take out your decorations, and no matter what you celebrate: Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, Yule, Eid, etc. I hope you enjoy this season for exactly what it is. It’s time to celebrate what you have, who you love, and what you’re going to experience in the future. No time of year is more perfect than this. Enjoy it.

Love always xo.

Moving...Again.

Ok, so yes, I'm moving yet again. This time I'm not leaving the city I'm currently in. I'm moving to a house with a BEDROOM. I am actually going to have a bed to sleep on for the first time since June.
How amazing is this? Well you try sleeping on odd couches, floors, living rooms and basements for 6 months and let me know how you feel by the time you get a bed back. Which, by the by, is coming TODAY (in about 2 hours) and I will have full use of it's loveliness.

Ok, so I'm starting to repeat past mistakes when it comes to guys. I think I've become so fucking desperate for that feeling of, I don't know, someone actually giving a shit about you? It's pretty cool. But anyways, I'm rushing shit all the time. I never want to sit back and let shit happen. It's like I want it NOW and I need to be in control of it at all times. That's not going to get me anywhere, now, is it?
Things are just getting complicated in that front, and I don't really see an end to it.
Not that it's a bad thing - I know what I want and I'm determined to get it no matter what. I don't see that as bad at all.
But sometimes I feel like I go after the wrong people, and the right people are too far away and I'm all "well I can move close to you!". And yeah, sure, I like him and stuff, but would moving BACK actually benefit me? I'd end up in the same work I was doing before in the same stupid situation. I don't need that. So for now, single, with a 75% chance of nothing. But....I mean the weather's been wrong before, right?

Moving On. Again.

Ok so it's back off to Kitchener for me this weekend.
After an impromtu decision to leave, I quit work and am about to leave.
Of course, screwing people over on the way.
I think I've realised my problem.
Why I haven't lived in a place very long, stuck a job out for very long, or just in general been happy at all with my current situation. It's because I hate-HATE-being tied down to anything. Commitment, contracts, obligations, dead lines, anything. I need to be one of those nomadic tribe members (who live off the land, fall asleep and wake up when they please, and can't really communicate to one another) in order to be 100% happy. And obviously, the search for this epiphany leaves more disappointment, hatred and selfishness in its wake.
How is anyone supposed to find themselves without being selfish? How is anyone supposed to end up successful without somebody getting screwed over? I'll never know. All I know right now is if I keep obsessing over whether or not my situation fits my perception of a story-book dream life, I'm going to end up very very alone. What's story book about that?
I think what I need is to meet someone else who is as impatient and eager for complete independent freedom to the point they will do anything to acheive it. At least then I'll have like a "quitting buddy" and hopefully make things easier when I have the craving to run away again.
So, bring it on, Kitchener.
Maybe I'm just not ready for changes and adulthood. Maybe I just want a little more time to be irresponsible and reckless.

Dropping the Ball.

Ok so, I think it's completely logical to say that I can't possibly follow through on my promises to keep regular posts, but I do try.
I haven't felt like doing much lately, I've been half-assing it at work, and laying around feeling sorry for myself for weeks.

Who knew things would take this kind of turn?

Anyways, I need to find something to keep my mind occupied. I was thinking, today, about how much I miss being in an orchestra or choir and being part of something amazing. I think I'll try to find a reason - any reason - to perform again with a group. The feeling is amazing, really.

I am also thinking about working out regularly like I've always been saying but have never actually done. Hence the title.
I'm getting very lazy. I need my hectic schedules and tight deadlines and stress beyond measure back. I'm becoming...laid back. Jesus.

As many of you have seen, read, or heard, I've been miserable for a while now. No worries, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Something happened that comprimised my vision of life in Toronto. It's okay. I will make a new vision.
I still want to live on my own. I've been looking at apartments around the city where I could potentially lay my rug down. But I'm not taking anything into serious consideration just yet. Once I have the numbers in order, I will pursue it further, of course.

Does anyone else love Fall? Since the weather has been getting colder, all I've been wanting to do is go for a walk and have coffee with someone fun. Where are you guys?!
The colours, fashions, lattes, and chilly nights are all making me feel like I made the right decision moving here. There is so much to do and see now! Not like living in Kitchener.

I hope I haven't bored you all to tears, but this is exciting for me. You can take your shopping trips, parties and movie nights, but I want my cold, sunny days with a hot coffee and all the time in the world. Thanks :)
<3

Whoopsie

I definitely wanted to be more regular with blog posts, but my life got so hectic and busy that I never found the time to write about anything!
I got a new job since my last post, and I didn't end up moving to that amazing apartment downtown. My sister and I talked, and decided to live together for a while and save money so we can get our lives on track and she could buy a car.
Well what can I say about Toronto 4 months in? It's been amazing, busy, stressful, fun, rainy, depressing and a big giant let down.
A lot, eh? I think I've experienced quite a bit since moving here. I was offered a job at a luxury retailer and have now been there for 2 weeks. Tried the dating thing and it didn't work out. Felt the stress of "can I make rent this month?" and learned if you eat everything in the first week, you have no food for the second week.
Things are beginning to iron out a bit, but as always, things come up that are unavoidable. So, for the most part, I'm enjoying my self here.
I know that was a lot of rambling, but I really don't have much else to talk about (or that I really want to).
I'm saving up for a mac book, so I'll probably have that in a few weeks or so. By then, my blog posts WILL be more regular. I have daily rants I'll want to post up. I think it'll be a better outlet than if I called someone every night after work and bitched about my day. This way, people can either read it, or ignore it.
Everybody wins :)

Well, until next time!

Love <3

Sorry

I just want to say sorry about not being more regular with my posts. I mean, I'm probably the only one who really cares about being more on top of this blogging situation, but anyway.
I started working in retail, which is fun and rewarding and very different from anything else I've done. Like, working in fast-food and not caring about customers was what I was used to for 2 years. Working in retail where they allow me to get to know customers and treat them with respect and LISTEN to them is really quite relieving.
I also got an apartment. It's downtown in an area I wanted to live in. It's a really nice building and the apartment is furnished with EVERYTHING and it comes with cable, internet, utilities, etc. So all I pay for is rent (which is cheap) and groceries. Everything is kind of falling together nicely and quietly. I don't have to work too hard to keep my life on track.
A lot of people are asking me if I'm shopping a lot and clubbing every weekend and partying with the "Toronto crowd", the answer is no. Living on my own in Toronto is the same as living on my own anywhere else in the world. I need to make sure I have enough money every month to cover necessities. Like food, rent, bills, etc. I will probably go out once in a while when I have some motivation to do so, but for now I'm just focusing on my life as a whole.
Anyways with everything that's going on, I really miss my family and friends in Kitchener. I don't hear from many people anymore, but it'd be nice to see my family at very least.
I think that's about it for now. I'm running out of things to talk about.

Love <3

1 Week In.

So, it's been a week now since I've moved back home to Toronto! What an eventful week it has been, too! Things are going surprisingly well for me here in the city. For example, two days in to my unresting job search, I landed an interview. I now have two more. One's for a position in Marketing/Advertising and the other as a stylist at a high-end retail store. Things are looking pretty promising thus far.
I went horseback riding on Tuesday morning! What an adventure that was! I rode a big horse named Romeo. I never realised how terrifying horses are, actually. I loved spending time with this one because he was calm and didn't make any sudden movements. So I did some chores, brought ponies outside to pens, fed them and groomed Romeo. Then I finally got to hop on and ride a horse for the first time in my life. I think I did pretty well!
My job interview went really well, too. It was the same day and I had about 40 minutes to get ready for it. After I managed to do that, I arrived 15 minutes early and filled out some forms while I waited for the manager outside the store. I was really nervous at this point, but when she finally came out to greet me, all of it went away and I slipped into interview mode. She asked me some pretty typical questions, some were hard and some were a breeze. Before I go into too much detail here, I should explain that I actually applied for a stock position because it promises more hours. However what I didn't know was that it made less money than the part-time stylist position. So she told me I would do well working as a stylist because I have a firm grasp on fashion. I obviously accepted the invitation and we continued with the interview for about 45 minutes. I think I made an excellent impression because she called me about an hour later to tell me my second interview was Tuesday with the store's supervisor.
Today, I'm doing absolutely nothing while waiting for my sister to come home from work. I borrowed the first season of Lost from my friend and once my sister gets home, we are going to see fireworks at Centennial park (something I did every year when I lived here before). So for anyone who is asking, I'm doing better than fine. I'm enjoying myself thoroughly and I would appreciate a text or e-mail once in a while :P
I hope everyone in Kitchener is doing alright without me (not that I'm doubting that).
I will try to neglect this a little less in the future. I'm hoping to start working by next week if one of the jobs takes me in. Until then, Have a fabulous Canada Day!
Love Love.

Adventures Abroad

Hey guys. So it really has been a while! I'm so sorry for neglecting this page!The thing is I don't have internet at my house anymore :S We decided to switch providers and it's taking longer than expected...HOWEVER, my big Toronto move is taking place this Friday night and I could NOT be more excited!It's been 7 years I've lived away from home and I can finally go back and live the way I want.I promise promise PROMISE I will be updating far more frequently once I move. But for now, I have nothing to say really!
Love love

Down The Path of Academia.

It has been a minute since my last post. I'm really sorry, guys! I've been completely busy with school and work. I managed to work enough hours to be financially STABLE for my birthday (yes, 19). Which happens to be in 16 days :)

So as the title suggests, one of my topics today is school. Also how I decided it is not for me. I don't know why but I just don't think it'll take me where I want to go and I feel like I'll miss out on a lot of opportunities that may arise. So I'm going to join an actor's union, get myself and agent and sing my way through life. I'm hoping to do some musical theatre, workshops and classes so I can be as good as I hope to be. SO THERE. Stuff it, university.

In other news, I sang with my school choir today with 470 kids aged 9-12 for the Kodaly festival. I don't know like anything about it, but I know they hold it all over the place and it's annual. It was really a treat; we sang at the Centre in the Square in front of roughly 2000 people. The applause and adrenaline was AMAZING. And being there confirmed my path to life.
However, while I was there I got just about the worst feeling in the world that landed me in quite a slum personally. Instead of opening up completely, I'll provide a brief analogy as to what I felt today.

Picture you're in a store looking at some really gorgeous boots. These boots are perfect fit and they make you feel awesome. However, they're a little bit out of your price range. So as you're deciding whether or not you should buy them (contemplating your budget and future finances and such) someone nabs them front under your nose just as you decide you're going to take them and be happy with them no matter what the cost. Now that they're gone, you realize how fucking much you wanted those boots.
That's BASICALLY what I went through today. It wasn't the best thing ever.

I have another concert tomorrow, and let's hope I don't miss those boots, you know?

Until next time (which should be soonish)

Love Love.

Money Makes the World Go 'Round

So, after singing the final number, taking our bows, screaming for each other in support and hanging up our costumes for the last time, Footloose came to a close. But, as everyone says, when one door closes, another opens.
This is so true for me! I was asked to be in another musical, Cabaret!
It's so exciting when someone watches you perform on stage and says "that was your audition".
It was such a thrill to work with the people I did and I think I can say that we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves as much as we possibly could.

In other news, I'm counting down the days until I turn 19 finally and can be %100 independent!
Everything is turning out so fantastically that I almost don't want to leave school. But I know that once I'm in Toronto, things will only get much better.

I hope everyone is having a great weekend! And for those who want some information on when Cabaret is playing, leave a comment and I'll post information when I have it!

As always, love love <3

P.S. I will post a picture up when one pops out to me :) Keep checking back!

Theatre and Love

Hey guys so Footloose has officially started, and things are going really amazingly!
The first show today was for some of my school and some kids from the elementary school down the street and I think they really loved it!
I'm so happy with how the show turned out. All the frustration, stress and repetitiveness finally paid off!

So this lead me to discover my absolute LOVE for musical theatre. SO here's the thing, once I'm in Toronto, you will all be seeing much more of me on stage and in the entertainment industry. I'll be looking for an agent to represent me and audition for anything and everything I can.
I've always wanted to do this stuff and I think I'm now good enough to start off.

I hope, for those who are seeing/have seen the show, that it's as amazing an experience for you as it has been for me and the rest of the cast. Everyone has come so far and improved so much it's unreal.

I probably won't be blogging for a while, because of the show and all the homework I still have to catch up on, but hopefully next week I'll have something stellar posted.
'Til then,

Love, xo

Boots and Boys

Lately rehearsals for the musical I'm in have been really intense! With opening night just over a week away, we're all running around trying to make everything perfect. It's so hectic!
I think this is my favourite part of doing a show! Everything pulls together so well despite the stress everyone is under and it makes the show so much more exciting. I'm so excited to finally perform it! It'll be really relieving to not have rehearsals three times a week anymore. Maybe now I can start working out :P

I recently pulled an all-nighter to finish my assignments. I forgot how rough that is. It was well worth it, though I think I did really well on it all. And I felt so accomplished once I was finished everything.
I'm thinking I want to get a night-job. I'm such a night-hawk and early morning person. Nothing is better than seeing the sun rise and that crisp feeling of a new day :)
I think everyone can agree with me regardless of your opinion on mornings :P

I think people have decided I'm intolerable. This is a big step for me! I've become so bitchy that people are starting to kind of get annoyed with me. How far away do you think I am from them hating me? Because, for those who saw my Facebook status a while back, I decided to make it my goal to get everyone to hate me. Is it working yet??

Anyways I'm still going strong for my move to Toronto and I'm still determined to meet this guy who's moving there from Montreal. He's perfect and I need to meet him.
I hope that's not too stalkerish, but at the same time, I really could not care less. ;)

That's all for now, folks. I just want to say thanks to everyone who reads these posts! I wasn't expecting people to take interest in my daily life, but it turned out pretty good! You guys give me a reason to write more often! So thank you all so much <3

Love Love.

A Look Forward.

I said I was moving to Toronto in September, but I lied. I'm actually moving around the end of July. I'm so excited to go back home! I'm going to be staying with my sister until I find a job and apartment. So my bed will be a couch for a while, but to me it's worth it because I'm going back to my home for good! And I am not looking back!

My dad told me that I need to look for jobs in Entertainment. He thinks I'm talented and can actually make it somewhere. So why not? I just need to get some headshots and update my resume.

I don't really have a whole lot to say, actually. I just wanted to make an update for those of you who actually read this :P

I hope you're all having an excellent weekend! Enjoy the sun because, who knows, maybe it'll start snowing again! Haha.

Love Love. xoxo

Happy Easter!

Just want to wish everyone reading a very happy Easter!
I hope you're all enjoying the gorgeous weather, and if there's no nice weather where you are (which is unlikely) I hope you're enjoying the time with your family.
So as everyone hopefully knows, I'm moving out on my own. My moving date is September the 1st and I haven't been more excited about anything!
I have a huge pile of debt, but hopefully I can pay it off and save up a few thousand to get my feet on the ground!
I'm hoping life on my own will be as exhilarating as I think it will be, I thought about a room mate, but something tells me that it will be more enjoyable by myself for a while.

Anyways, I'm spending Easter with my sister and my niece. I love them so much.
Once again, I hope you're all having an excellent weekend!

Oh No.

This is not happening again.
Here's the thing - forgive me for getting personal-: I have been undecided about partners for years. I'm never happy with anything because no one can make me happy entirely. Explain that to me, please! I've finally developed strong infatuation with someone. I actually hate it.
I hate the feeling of seeing someone you want to meet but don't know where to begin. I hate the sinking feeling in your stomach when you look at them. It's crazy as hell.
But I suppose it's worth it. In the end all I really want is someone who will be there and love me.
Too much?

In other news I haven't felt much in the mood to sleep at night anymore. I think my problem is I think too much.

Haha.

I got a formspring account for those who want to ask me anonymous questions publicly. That should be a bundle of fun :) Here's the link: www.formspring.me/lewfah91
I should probably stop with all of the social networking sites, but they're just so damned addictive.

Screaming in History.

It's, once again, been a while since my last post.
I think once I have something to write about, it becomes a struggle to muster up enough motivation to actually turn my computer on. With my new phone, I haven't really gone on my actual computer in some time. The odd time to add music to my playlist, but that's the extent of it.
Honestly, I use my dad's computer more than my own because it's already on. Besides, I only use it to read my e-mail.

Anyways, I have a story. And, as the title implies, it begins in History class.
I think it was Wednesday or something and for some reason it was particularly chaotic. I mean, it's always pretty bad, but today was so much worse.

It started off pretty normal, I talked to my teacher about why my essay wasn't finished yet and all was well. But there is this one guy n my class who, for some reason, draws a shit load of attention to himself. Today was no different.

My teacher tends to dift a little from topics. By this I mean we could be discussing Queen Elizabeth I and how she changed England and then we'll be discussing Leonardo DiCaprio and how he has been a slow incline from complete shit to an amazing actor. I don't know how this happens, but it does. Every day.

Suddenly the power goes out, and since we weren't learning anything to begin with, people got really loud and weird. My friend started to scream "I can't see!" and covering her eyes even though the windows were all open and the teacher was doing a lecture. So there was nothing to see even if it was true.

Then the guy who likes attention starts to scream at the top of his lungs: "THIS IS AN UNSAFE LEARNING ENVIRONMENT!! I CAN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW! LET ME LEAVE"
And of course, the power came back on.

At this point I was having a war of emotions between amused and angry. I couldn't tell you why, though.

So now I'm sitting in my friend's living room thinking back and actually smiling because it was such a random series of events that day.

Friday Night In

So, I finally got my glasses on Tuesday. The compliment I'm hearing the most is that it looks like I've always had them. So I guess that's good that it's not a really big change. I'm pretty happy with them. I mean they irritate my nose a lot, but I guess I'll get used to it. It's good to be able to see clearly.

So yesterday was probably one of the most interesting night's alone I've ever had. I watched the Olympic Opening Ceremony and it was very long. The only part I like is the athlete's parade. It's cool to see that they're so happy. But all the Canadian Heritage shit was really boring. And I was upset that the musicians and singers were lip syncing and faking. It was bull.

Anyways, after that I went on this chat website that randomizes who you talk to, so you never know. You can skip through people and webcams are required. Some of the shit I saw was entertaining, but there was the odd person showing off their "bits" and having sexual intercourse with stuffed animals. That was beyond disturbing. And I had a lot of people saying "ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL". Maybe next time I should show off MY bits? At least then I won't want to hang myself because I look like a woman.

I then watched blogTV for a while. It was entertaining. I think he liked my username (lewfah91) because he started showing me all the loofahs he had in his room. It was cute.

After that I spoke to a boy for like 3 hours.

It was all together a really entertaining night!

The picture attached is pretty much just to show my glasses off and I also found the lighting in my friend's bathroom to be perfect :)

I'm a Mac...

So I've recently become an iPhone person....I never thought I would buy one, but I did.
I've always kind of wanted one, because they are so cool and they do ao many different things. But I already had a phone, and an iPod, so what was the point? Well..someone stepped on my iPod so that doesn't work anymore, and I dropped my phone causing the sliding keyboard to stop working all together. I finally had justification to buy an iPhone and I am so glad I did it!
If you are considering buying one, I strongly recommend it. They are so much fun. I think the only problem with it is the battery life is not very long. Maybe that's just because I am always playing with it.

So, I talked about my eye being messed up. Turns out it was optic neuritis (inflammation of the optic nerve). I went to the doctor because I thought it may have been something more serious. I found out that, for 90% of people with optic neuritis, it goes away and never comes back.
My eye is FINALLY healing! My vision is slowly coming back in my right eye and I am not having daily migraines anymore! I could not be happier.

I have been brought down a few times this weekend, though. My glasses were ordered over two weeks ago and the first attempt at cutting the lenses, and they broke. So they had to send out for more. I don't know when I am getting them, yet. They told me Friday and it's now Monday. Hopefully they arrive soon.

I have to say...after making like ONE video, I really prefer sporadic blogging to making videos. At least this way no one will judge me because I am socially awkward. They can read the blogs and soak in my amazing stories and laugh about it later with friends. LOL
Well....at least I am more comfortable typing and it doesn't require editing (which I HATE).
So that being said...no more videos. Sorry guys.
I mean, I'll probably post some music stuff like me playing cello or singing or something, but I think that's about it.

P.s. I am thinking of getting my lip pierced. Just something very small on the left side (your right) of my face. What do you think?

Waking Up

I finally got to sleep in today. It was pretty fantastic!
Although I have a bit of a problem that is worth talking to a doctor about
I think something is wrong with my right eye. It hurts like a bitch.
I tried to put on eyeshadow yesterday and it actually hurt. Every brush stroke was like someone was poking my eye really hard.
I don't understand. Maybe I pulled a muscle?
Anyways.
I got my Visa bill the other day and almost had a heart attack. I knew what was coming but I didn't realise how stupid I am with money. LOL
Oh well...
I've been debating recently about getting my video blog back up and running. I'm sure no one would have a problem with that.
HOWEVER
I have no idea what to talk about. My videos are never as long as I think they're going to be.
Anyone have any ideas for my next video if I actually do one??
Let me know through this, Twitter, Facebook, or Youtube.
Don't matter what it is. The crazier the better!
Anyways I hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend! I'm going to get back to my 300 calorie breakfast :)
Love.

Obsessions and Procrastinations.

Oh jeeze.
I don't really have any eventful stories to tell. I've been home sick for the past two days. It was nice to relax, but now I'm putting off my already over-due homework to write this.
As of late, I've developed somewhat of an obsession with Alex Evans. He's a 19 year old genius of a photographer who lives in Montreal. His ideals and outlooks are so genuinely unique and that's the most apparently gorgeous thing about him. I would kill to meet him. Really.
Anyways, that being said, I think I hold that bar way too high for guys. That's why I can't find one...hmmm...I should really work on that one.
Tonight, I went out with one of my best friends, Julia. We went to Starbucks, had a latte, then went to see It's Complicated and cowed out on junk food. The movie turned out to be, surprisingly, funnier and better than I thought. I was smiling the entire way through.
So, I thought we had a pretty fabulous night together. She also talked me through something I'm not exactly willing to tell the world. It got me thinking that I have no idea what I would do without her. She knows me better than I know myself, and I'm so grateful to have met her.
Anyways enough of the corny stuff, I guess I should go write my articles now.
Until next time :)
Love.

Just my luck, I guess.

I decided to share with you some of the bad luck I have been experiencing recently.
I sure hope this doesn't get too personal. :S
Ok, so at work today, my friend and I were talking about boy problems. This is not a rare thing, either. I'm sure everyone has had bad experiences. In fact I'm positive of it.
Anyways, so we're just talking about our luck, and I realize that in the past year I have had quite possibly the worst luck with "promising" guys.
I had one boy say I was stalking him; one guy keeps telling me he likes me and then starts dating someone else, and that someone else hits on me pretending to be him; another I thought was amazing and then randomly we stopped talking and when we do now, there's nothing really to say; another one was exactly like me except stood me up on a would-be excellent coffee date.
I'm sensing a trend. But I can't quite decide if it's me or them.
Either way, I'm becoming increasingly more sexually frustrated, and in need of a partner. Good luck, Lew.

On a happier note, rehearsals for Footloose have started and I have not been more excited about a performance. I don't have a principal role, but I didn't audition for one. I just wanted a name, and some lines. I got both. So it's very exciting.

I guess that's all I have to say for now.
Love.

2010: Good Year.

Happy New Year, all!
So, let's face it. 2009 sucked for everyone. I'm pretty sure it's safe to say we all had our ups and downs (some more than others). This year, however, is going to be amazing. I can just tell these things.
I can promise I won't make any of the same mistakes I did last year. And seeing as how I started the year off single, I'm on the right track!
I haven't exactly made any resolutions yet. I guess my only goals are to finish school and GTFO of Kitchener. I can't begin to describe how much I loathe it here. I also want to move out on my own and live life on my own terms.
Those are pretty solid goals, right? We'll worry about the college and career thing in 2011, but for now, my [current] resolution is to close another chapter of my life and move on from one thing to a whole other thing. You know?
If anyone actually reads this, I want to know what your New Year's resolutions are! I don't care how ridiculous they sound, actually. The more far out they are, the better!
So yeah. I'm going to do my best to turn over a new leaf.
Until then, keep checking back :)
Love.