Moving...Again.

Ok, so yes, I'm moving yet again. This time I'm not leaving the city I'm currently in. I'm moving to a house with a BEDROOM. I am actually going to have a bed to sleep on for the first time since June.
How amazing is this? Well you try sleeping on odd couches, floors, living rooms and basements for 6 months and let me know how you feel by the time you get a bed back. Which, by the by, is coming TODAY (in about 2 hours) and I will have full use of it's loveliness.

Ok, so I'm starting to repeat past mistakes when it comes to guys. I think I've become so fucking desperate for that feeling of, I don't know, someone actually giving a shit about you? It's pretty cool. But anyways, I'm rushing shit all the time. I never want to sit back and let shit happen. It's like I want it NOW and I need to be in control of it at all times. That's not going to get me anywhere, now, is it?
Things are just getting complicated in that front, and I don't really see an end to it.
Not that it's a bad thing - I know what I want and I'm determined to get it no matter what. I don't see that as bad at all.
But sometimes I feel like I go after the wrong people, and the right people are too far away and I'm all "well I can move close to you!". And yeah, sure, I like him and stuff, but would moving BACK actually benefit me? I'd end up in the same work I was doing before in the same stupid situation. I don't need that. So for now, single, with a 75% chance of nothing. But....I mean the weather's been wrong before, right?

Moving On. Again.

Ok so it's back off to Kitchener for me this weekend.
After an impromtu decision to leave, I quit work and am about to leave.
Of course, screwing people over on the way.
I think I've realised my problem.
Why I haven't lived in a place very long, stuck a job out for very long, or just in general been happy at all with my current situation. It's because I hate-HATE-being tied down to anything. Commitment, contracts, obligations, dead lines, anything. I need to be one of those nomadic tribe members (who live off the land, fall asleep and wake up when they please, and can't really communicate to one another) in order to be 100% happy. And obviously, the search for this epiphany leaves more disappointment, hatred and selfishness in its wake.
How is anyone supposed to find themselves without being selfish? How is anyone supposed to end up successful without somebody getting screwed over? I'll never know. All I know right now is if I keep obsessing over whether or not my situation fits my perception of a story-book dream life, I'm going to end up very very alone. What's story book about that?
I think what I need is to meet someone else who is as impatient and eager for complete independent freedom to the point they will do anything to acheive it. At least then I'll have like a "quitting buddy" and hopefully make things easier when I have the craving to run away again.
So, bring it on, Kitchener.
Maybe I'm just not ready for changes and adulthood. Maybe I just want a little more time to be irresponsible and reckless.